It irks me when people try and force their beliefs on others. For example; you have those who spank their children and those who don’t. Those who don’t spank their children call the people who do spank their children bad parents, or what I read more recently, cowards. Today I had to spank my 3 year old daughter because my wife chose to go out and get a massage instead of confronting the situation. Before you say 3 years old is too young let me tell you.
My daughter started talking at 6 months. She knew almost every common animal’s name in Chinese and English, her ABC’s and how to count to 10 by 18 months. On top of that it seems that she might be left handed. Currently she can understand about 90% of a Dora cartoon.
In my mind my daughter is incredibly clever and incredibly spoiled. My wife, ayi and mother-in-law constantly hover and rotate around her as if she is a red giant. If my daughter is denied something she will quickly turn into the Tasmanian Devil. Talking her down is useless. You cannot put her in time out. She will scream and shout and writhe till finally one of the three will agree to her demands. None of them believe in spanking but all of them got spanked as children. My wife was physically abused by her father and feels like I am continuing the cycle of abuse. I was physically abused as a child also.
But there is a difference between abusing a child and spanking a child. I regulate my spankings to the bottom, and only once a week if it even permits. I was physically abused as a child to the point where the adopted parent took a cleaver knife off the rack, and had every intention of hacking of limbs. I promised never to lay hands on my children. But it’s different when you are actually in the situation, and become a parent. Am I afraid I will go overboard when I transform into father lion? Of course, and it is that fear that keeps me in the right perspective.
When her tantrums get out of hand I take her with me into a room lock the door, and have a little daddy and daughter time. I call this the detox discipline. I have to do this because if I don’t I will have the three trying to barge in and give my daughter what she demanded. When my daughter sees this she is smart enough to raise the bar.
There are just some children in the world that you don’t need to spank. But depending on many factors there are just some children where you have to use a bit of physical discipline.
I love my daughter with all of my heart, and am quite overprotective of her. Shanghai is not the safest place for raising children. I just don’t want to see my daughter growing up like the spoilt brats of today that are running China into the ground.
Just because I spank my daughter doesn’t make me a bad father or a coward. I’m the father lion and I want what’s best for my cub.